Life has always been a delicate balance between responsibility, accountability and freedoms. They usually aren’t choices we make without thought. Not because we desire to impose our will upon those we rule, but out of a desire to educate and inform our children as to how to live their best life. The twist, of course, is that you aren’t living my life which is all I’ve ever known.
I do understand that you chafe under the imposition of my will. I not only expect things done, I expect them to be done at a particular time (often now) done a particular way (the way I showed you) and to a particular level of quality (completely).
It also appears that you are very loath to take advice or instruction about how to do things. You want to figure it out yourself! And there are those of us who have already learned some things and we want to teach you. “Don’t make the same mistakes we made!” But often we learned those things by just figuring them out ourselves. It’s important to have that opportunity and I understand that.
At the same time we do have expectations for you.
I can live with messy. I can’t live with unhealthy. Old food grows mold (unhealthy to breathe) and attracts insects and rodents and I’m not willing to budge on that one. It hasn’t seem to have been a problem lately. But so long as food isn’t a part of the mess I’m willing to say it’s your mess to deal with however you see fit.
Your domain stops at your door. You continue to keep common areas as clean and tidy. That one probably makes sense to you as you mostly do that anyway.
You bring your trash out. Once a week. On a schedule. I’m not going to say you have to pick up all the trash in your room, bag it up and bring me the bag. I’m just saying that once a week, on Wednesdays (or before) you bring a bag of trash to the garage.
You tell me your plan for laundry. Not for approval, just so that I know. You tell me what it is and do that. Whatever it is. If you find that what you worked out doesn’t work for you? Just tell me what your plan is now. The plan that works for me is “once my laundry basket is higher than the top, the next work day I do laundry and wash all of my dirty clothes”. Maybe your is “every other Tuesday do one load of laundry and wash only the most important things”. The only part I’ll play is to maybe remind you on Tuesday. I won’t hold you accountable for it (unless that’s part of your plan).